First off, I do believe that the last post I wrote before leaving on my mission was absolutely perfect for me. After coming home, I cried reading it, and I want everyone to know that I got exactly what I wanted from my mission and SO much more than I could have ever imagined. I will never be the same because of my mission and the journey that it has brought.
My first Instagram and Facebook post after getting home says a lot of how I felt right after coming home. I will spare the personal, precious details of this long journey, but I got on that plane, leaving my favorite country with the best memories in the world not really knowing why. Yes, I had had some SUDDEN intense mental breakdowns, but I knew that wasn't the real reason. The amazing senior missionary couple that helped me out a lot, the Halls, shared a quote with me from one of the Latter-day prophets, President Benson, that is OH SO true and that has helped me through these times:
"I work as hard as I can, and I try my best to be obedient so the lord knows I am mindful of Him. Then I have faith that He will make up the difference between what I am able to do and what I am not able to do."
I stayed with my amazing mission president and wife for a few days, and I think we all knew that this was Heavenly Father's way of interrupting my plan for His perfect plan. We just didn't know the details. I taught people in the airports all along my way home. I was embraced by the sweetest family anyone could have ever asked for. I was honorably released as a full time missionary, and I still have my name tags placed all around my room. The feeling of partaking of the Sacrament that same day I got released was the sweetest, calmest feeling I have ever felt. You really can not deny promptings from the Spirit.
The next day I went to the doctors office to get some medicine for depression. While I was there, I had him look at my boils. I had boils my entire mission. They would get as big as my hand, and would drain for over a month. I couldn't sit down when we would teach lessons on the floor, so I would lay down on people's humble floors that were crawling with all sorts of friends. It was precious and worth all the pain. People told me that it was because of the humidity. That made sense to me. But the strange thing was that after I got back to Idaho, the least humid place on earth, I was still getting more boils. The doctor told me that I had MRSA, a deadly bacteria that is eating me. I will always have it. It cant get better, it can only get worse. It can however be put dormant by medication. But, without warning it can flare up at any minute. The minute it gets in my blood, they can not treat it anymore, and that is when people die. The doctor said that if I hadn't come home, there is a good chance that it would have gotten in my blood. If that doesn't bring a confirmation that I was supposed to get on that plane, then I don't know what does.
Coming home early from your mission brings a certain uneasiness. socially. Even when I knew this is what God needed for me, I still worried about what others would think. We really should not let other peoples' thoughts affect us, but we are human. I have received nothing but pure love and non judgement. People I didn't know very well reached out to me, and I have been able to help people that have felt the same way that I had felt. I was also able to get people who were getting ready to leave for missions oh so excited for the best 18 months or 2 years that they were about to start. I am beyond grateful that God loves us so much to interfere in our lives to let us know that He knows best. Most of the time it doesn't make sense due to our limited perspective, but it always is for the better.
The Holy Ghost is sent to you and to those you car for. You will be strengthened and yet inspired to know the limits and extent of your ability to serve. The Spirit will comfort you when you may wonder, "DID I DO ENOUGH?"-President Henry B. Eyring
Nagpapasalamat po ako para sa lahat karanasan ko sa Pilipinas. Alum ko po na ng Dioys ating Ama sa Langit. Mahal tayo ng Dioys. Dahil sa mahal tayo ng Dious ibinigay niya anak niya, Jesu Cristo, para sa atin. Jesu Cristo ang Tagapagligktas natin. Sa pamamagitan pagbabaysad sala ni Jesu Cristo at pagsisisi, lahat mga tao daig mga pagsubok at mga sakit sa buhay natin. Alum ko pa na Joseph ay totoo propeta, at Thomas S. Monson ay totoo propeta sa mundo ngayon. Ang Aklat ni Mormon ang isang tipan ni Jesu Cristo, sobrang totoo siya. Alum ko po na lahat mga pamilia napang walang hangang. Alum ko po na Ang Simbahan ni Jesu Cristo ng mga Banal sa mga Huling Araw ay totoo simbahan sa mundo. Mahal ko ebanghelyo na ito. Sa pangalan ni Jesu Cristo, Amen.
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