What is my experience of coming home early from a mission?

First off, I do believe that the last post I wrote before leaving on my mission was absolutely perfect for me. After coming home, I cried reading it, and I want everyone to know that I got exactly what I wanted from my mission and SO much more than I could have ever imagined. I will never be the same because of my mission and the journey that it has brought.

My first Instagram and Facebook post after getting home says a lot of how I felt right after coming home. I will spare the personal, precious details of this long journey, but I got on that plane, leaving my favorite country with the best memories in the world not really knowing why. Yes, I had had some SUDDEN intense mental breakdowns, but I knew that wasn't the real reason. The amazing senior missionary couple that helped me out a lot, the Halls, shared a quote with me from one of the Latter-day prophets, President Benson, that is OH SO true and that has helped me through these times:

"I work as hard as I can, and I try my best to be obedient so the lord knows I am mindful of Him. Then I have faith that He will make up the difference between what I am able to do and what I am not able to do."

I stayed with my amazing mission president and wife for a few days, and I think we all knew that this was Heavenly Father's way of interrupting my plan for His perfect plan. We just didn't know the details. I taught people in the airports all along my way home. I was embraced by the sweetest family anyone could have ever asked for. I was honorably released as a full time missionary, and I still have my name tags placed all around my room. The feeling of partaking of the Sacrament that same day I got released was the sweetest, calmest feeling I have ever felt. You really can not deny promptings from the Spirit.
The next day I went to the doctors office to get some medicine for depression. While I was there, I had him look at my boils. I had boils my entire mission. They would get as big as my hand, and would drain for over a month. I couldn't sit down when we would teach lessons on the floor, so I would lay down on people's humble floors that were crawling with all sorts of friends. It was precious and worth all the pain. People told me that it was because of the humidity. That made sense to me. But the strange thing was that after I got back to Idaho, the least humid place on earth, I was still getting more boils. The doctor told me that I had MRSA, a deadly bacteria that is eating me. I will always have it. It cant get better, it can only get worse. It can however be put dormant by medication. But, without warning it can flare up at any minute. The minute it gets in my blood, they can not treat it anymore, and that is when people die. The doctor said that if I hadn't come home, there is a good chance that it would have gotten in my blood. If that doesn't bring a confirmation that I was supposed to get on that plane, then I don't know what does.

Coming home early from your mission brings a certain uneasiness. socially. Even when I knew this is what God needed for me, I still worried about what others would think. We really should not let other peoples' thoughts affect us, but we are human. I have received nothing but pure love and non judgement. People I didn't know very well reached out to me, and I have been able to help people that have felt the same way that I had felt. I was also able to get people who were getting ready to leave for missions oh so excited for the best 18 months or 2 years that they were about to start. I am beyond grateful that God loves us so much to interfere in our lives to let us know that He knows best. Most of the time it doesn't make sense due to our limited perspective, but it always is for the better.

The Holy Ghost is sent to you and to those you car for. You will be strengthened and yet inspired to know the limits and extent of your ability to serve. The Spirit will comfort you when you may wonder, "DID I DO ENOUGH?"-President Henry B. Eyring

Nagpapasalamat po ako para sa lahat karanasan ko sa Pilipinas. Alum ko po na ng Dioys ating Ama sa Langit. Mahal tayo ng Dioys. Dahil sa mahal tayo ng Dious ibinigay niya anak niya, Jesu Cristo, para sa atin. Jesu Cristo ang Tagapagligktas natin. Sa pamamagitan pagbabaysad sala ni Jesu Cristo at pagsisisi, lahat mga tao daig mga pagsubok at mga sakit sa buhay natin. Alum ko pa na Joseph ay totoo propeta, at Thomas S. Monson ay totoo propeta sa mundo ngayon. Ang Aklat ni Mormon ang isang tipan ni Jesu Cristo, sobrang totoo siya. Alum ko po na lahat mga pamilia napang walang hangang. Alum ko po na Ang Simbahan ni Jesu Cristo ng mga Banal sa mga Huling Araw ay totoo simbahan sa mundo. Mahal ko ebanghelyo na ito. Sa pangalan ni Jesu Cristo, Amen.

What do I hope to get out of my mission?

So first off, the support I had at my farewell was unbelievable!!! I was so surprised and humbled at the love and generosity people have shown me! Of course I cried through the entire talk, but the Spirit was strong, and that's all that really matters. My mom put on a beautiful brunch after my talk, thanks to the help of her friends. We didn't get that many pictures, and there were so many people there, I was just worried about making sure I talked to everyone before they snuck out! My heart is so full:)

As I prepare to get set apart TONIGHT as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I am reflecting on all the different advice people have given me. I personally talked to all of my siblings, my in laws, and my parents about their missions and their advice. Find the balance between working hard and having fun, make time for your companion, learn about the culture and people as much as you can, don't think about home, realize that everyone has a different idea for what "working hard" means, laugh at yourself, enjoy the journey, ALWAYS have the Spirit with you, be patient with the language, allow yourself and others to grow, DO NOT COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHER MISSIONARIES, don't get caught up in the numbers, remember that you are called to serve in the language that you preach most successfully in, don't be too serious, don't expect investigators to know how to do everything you ask them to, be prompt in everything, AND SO MUCH MORE!!!!! My head is just squirming with all the advice I've been given.

I know that this is going to be hard. People have not sugarcoated the mission experience, or the conditions of my personal mission. BUT because of those hard times, I HAVE TO HAVE EQUALLY OR EVEN MORE AMAZING TIMES!!!!!!!!! Times that remind me why I am serving a mission, why I am in the Philippines, and why I love my Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ. They trust me, but part of that trust is letting them help me become the missionary I need to be. I would not be doing this, going to a foreign country where I don't know that language, food, or any people, if I did not KNOW what I was preaching was true. I KNOW that God is my loving Heavenly Father, who has a perfect plan for all of His children. Because He loves us so much, He sent His son, Jesus Christ, to live the perfect life, set the example, to suffer and atone for our sins, to die for us, and to LIVE...so we can live again too. I KNOW that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God. This KNOWledge took some time for me, but because of that, my testimony is strong and true. Because I KNOW that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God, I also KNOW the Book of Mormon to be true. You can not believe one and not the other. I finished the Book of Mormon again this last week, and took the challenge at the very end in Moroni chapter 10:3-5. This book changes lives. I also KNOW that Thomas S. Monson is the true and living prophet, called of God on this earth today. I KNOW that temples are sacred, and that the work we do inside is real. I KNOW that family history work is also very real, and it works. I am so grateful to KNOW of the sealing power, that families can be together forever...but each member has to do their part to receive that blessing. I KNOW that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the true and living church on the earth today. How do I KNOW? Because I have studied it out and asked God, and through the Spirit He has told me....and I can NOT deny it.

So, as I go out, what do I hope to get out of my mission experience? Well, for one thing, I hope to be fluent in Tagalog:) I hope that I will be humbled. I'm not saying that I am this super prideful person, but I hope that I can come home a changed person because of the experiences Heavenly Father gives me. I hope that I can serve till my little body can't serve anymore. I hope to come home with lifelong/eternal friendships. I hope to come home not wanting to leave those sweet people. I hope I can find, with the help of my Savior and Heavenly Father and the Spirit, solutions to the many problems that I will face. I hope to strengthen the confidence of members.I hope to get less-active members to remember why they joined the church. I hope to plant as many gospel seeds with as many people as I can because even though they might not get baptized while I'm there, they have that seed that can grow and come up later on in their life. I hope my testimony is burning with KNOWledge and excitement and truth even more than it is now. I hope that I come home not having any regrets of any kind. I want to talk to that one more person, hand out that one more Book of Mormon, take it just one day at a time...because I will blink and be on the plane home. I hope to bring as many people unto Christ, and in the process, do so even more myself. So, here's to the best 18 months FOR my life...prayers and love...

Sister Stoddard:):):)

Why do I have the BEST jobs ever?

So once upon a time, back in 9th grade, I started teaching piano. Yes, I was in 9th grade. The trust these parents had in me still blows my mind. I inherited a few of my sisters old students and got a few of my own. I think my first recital had 7 students in it:) I had no idea what I was doing, but made sure that the kids had fun and would want to come back. Well, it some how worked, and at one time I had 23 students coming into my home per week. I LOVE TEACHING!!! We play games, tell stories, laugh, make jokes, I take videos of them so they can see how they sound, they enter into competitions, we have recitals, and I am constantly amazed at how they progress:) I am one proud teacher. The ages range from 5 to a mom in her 40's. Every student is different. Each of them have their strengths and their weaknesses, and it has been fun to figure those out along with them. I don't even feel like I'm working. Seeing my little friends was for sure a highlight of every week. A lot of my students, and even their families came to my mission farewell talk. I will sure miss these wonderful people while I'm on my mission, and I hope they never forget the times we had in my basement:)

My last recital with 15 of my students. They amaze me! I do my recitals at the church:)

The gifts and cards from my students for my last recital:)

Look what this cute student brought for my birthday!

The summer before my Junior year I got offered a nannying job. Now this isn't just an ordinary nannying job. This included watching 6 kids (the youngest being twins that were 1 at the time), doing laundry, making dinner, cleaning up, running all the kids to their different activities in their large suburban or truck, going grocery shopping on some occasions, helping kids with their homework, putting kids to bed, and just being a loving person they could look up to. Well, I took that job, even though i was plenty busy with my piano studio. Once again, the trust these parents had in me was unreal. I was able take "career explorations" all during my senior year, so not once did I go a full day of school. Wow. This job changed my life. The lessons I learned with this family could not have been learned with any other job. I feel that I am so prepared for motherhood. One kid will be a breeze since I am used to two babies plus 4 other kids:) Ha! I love those kids with all my heart. Just before my last time watching them, I stayed the night with them. It was such a crazy adventure! Hehe and now the twins can say "I..Love...ANNIE!!!!" Makes my heart happy:) Yes, we had our moments (what do expect spending that much time together?) but most of the time we were happy and playing and laughing and telling stories and making memories:)

All 7 of us...there's one hiding in the back:)

My little friends came to say bye after they ALL went to my mission farewell talk, and brought our signature treat we always made...muddy buddies:)

Why did I go to Russia?

That awkward moment when you get back from Russia and your phone doesn't work, so they have to delete virtually EVERYTHING from your phone. So all my Russia pictures and videos are gone...BACK UP YOUR PHOTOS KIDS!!!!! I would have backed them up had I known they would all be gone. I do have some from my mom, but her quote from the trip was "Annie get a picture of that!" or "I'm not going to bring my phone because Annie will take pictures." Sad day. But, luckily I had posted some on Instagram while I was over there, and I wrote every detail in my journal:) Stay positive, stay positive. So you are just going to have to believe what I say:) Anywho, let's get started-

We got on the Salt Lake Express at 2 am to catch our flight to JFK. Phew! Even waiting in that terminal everyone was speaking Russian. Here we were the little Americans that could't understand anything, yet again. Ha! But that 9 hour flight wasn't too bad. When the plane hit the ground everyone started clapping (this happened on the way home too). We landed and were met by a man holding a sign with my mom's name on it. Zero English. So we trusted he knew where my brother lived, and got to see some of the BEAUTIFUL Moscow. We pulled in to the cute neighborhood where my brother lives, and were greeted by my two nieces riding their scooters out front. Oh how I missed those girls. I hadn't seen them in over a year(thank goodness for Skype, right?) Then I got to meet my cute little nephew...HOLY I'm in love with that chunk. His little smiles and giggles got me every time. We ended the evening by going to their neighborhood party where we met some super neat people!
 The next day was Sunday, so we were off to church. The meeting rooms are on a floor of a random building that they converted. There isn't a sign on the front so I have no idea how anyone would know that that's where the church is. It was an English ward, but everyone was really neat and friendly. We then went to the woods across the way....GORGEOUS!!! Literally there are 8 playgrounds(which are btw are amazing in Russia) in this massive forest and a random lake in the middle. What? And then there were these water spouts that people were filling jugs and jugs up with this "blessed" water. Really interesting. We then had this sweet Russian lady over. She couldn't really speak English, so my brother had to translate. They met in between meetings at church. After she left, the kids went to bed and the 4 adults stayed up late talking and laughing and playing games (how every night went).

The Forest:)

On Monday we went to this huge grocery store in a mall. I love seeing the food from different cultures. Ha we had to order meat at the deli, but the language barrier got the better of us all (not that my mom and I were any help), so that was funny! We ate lunch at the food court from a traditional Russian place...I really liked it! Then the rest of the day was filled with crafts, games, FHE, and story telling:)

Really? This castle is magical!

Tuesday we took the girls to school and then we got on the metros to go to an art gallery. Now I am not a huge appreciator for art, but I LOVED IT!!! Like I wasn't that excited, but Russian art is so much more fascinating than other art...sorry! The  scenes depicted are all about every day life. There aren't very many happy paintings, but that's because there wasn't a lot of happiness going on over there during these times. Anywho I had taken pictures of my favorites, but we all know what happened to those...after that we picked up my niece from preschool, played some games, then it was time that we could finally go inside my other niece's school. Holy moly!!! SO nice! I don't think she quite realizes how incredible that place is. We had to make a reservation just to go inside the gates and past the guards, and had to do some other security things but SO WORTH IT! Swimming lessons, Irish dancing, and ice skating are all part of her school. not to mention the incredible playground, amazing library, language programs, and so much more. I am so tickled that she gets that amazing education:)

Only in Russia are there Russian dolls to climb on at school:)

This is the "fairy house" at recess.

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Wednesday was such a fun day! My sister-in-law took us to this traditional Russian market, and it was SO neat! The vendors were basically on top of each other, and they were selling all sorts of neat items. They were all under or in these replicas of famous Russian buildings, which just added to the feel of the whole experience. We bought lots of great gifts, and one vendor in particular was our favorite, My mom was looking at a Russian nativity, and this guy in his broken English and thick accent said "Utah?" we were so surprised! We explained that we were from Idaho, and he said "Mormon?" WHAT? You have to understand...Mormon missionaries over there have to be called "volunteers", and there just isn't a lot of Mormons walking around. So we were just laughing and asking the guy how on earth he knew we were Mormon. He put his hand across his forehead and said "Mormon! American, happy, nativity...MORMON!!" Well we could not stop laughing, and then he gave us a "Mormon discount" on the nativity. What a memory!!!:)

The YUMMY Georgian restraunt:)

Thursday my nieces didn't have school, so we were able to go downtown to the embassy. We toured the compound where some families live, and saw the other available facilities. Once my brother got off of work, we walked around downtown Moscow, and it literally felt like we were in the movie Harry Potter. My brother said it, and I couldn't' agree more. Then we ate at a Georgian restaurant. Holy moly I didn't even know they had their own food, but I LOVED it!!! Then we made the trek back through all the metros...which by the way have the most BEAUTIFUL stations...like they have chandeliers, sculptures, mosaics on the walls and ceilings, like really?
Friday was the big history day! We all got on the metro, and went off to Red Square. To be honest, I don't know much about Russian history, nevertheless I enjoyed Red Square SO MUCH! I can't even imagine being a Russian history fan and being there! Of course I had pictures of it all, but ya know...we toured museums, went inside AMAZING cathedrals, enjoyed all the buildings, and pictures honestly don't do it justice. I could have stayed there all day if it weren't' so cold and we had the littles with us.
Saturday was the last day...saying goodbye to that sweet sweet family was so hard! Especially knowing that I wouldn't see them until after my mission sometimes. Every time i get to see my family in person we make so many memories because those times are so rare. Thank goodness for Skype and emails:)
Thank you Russia for being such a wonderful place to visit my family:)

PICTURES--once again, these are super random ones my mom happened to take:) Ha!

Ha! I love these crazies! Plus, the lights were so fun!

This random boat outside of Red Square

Thanks young man for cutting off the top of this building when taking our picture...

So cold, yet so cool!

I don't know what this is...

Random Sculpture?

Oh I love this girl and how much we read together:)

More of the "Forest"

Why did I go to China?

Once upon a time, one of my brothers went to China to teach English and film at a university in Weifong. His plan was to only stay a year...until he met the PERFECT girl for him. Their story is quite cute and it really is crazy how similar these two are. So, she came home with him after his first year, and we all fell in love! Cheng is so delightful and we wanted these two to get married. So my brother went back for a second year of teaching, but this time to a more prestigious university in Qingdao. They announced they were getting married, and my parents wanted to go over for the celebration. Paying my own way, I tagged along to that wonderful country.
We got on the 14 hour flight, and we were already the minority of the group. The plane had such a Chinese feel from the music, people, how the flight attendants were dressed, the movie options, the food choices, and I was excited! We landed in Beijing, and we were met by Cheng running to greet us! I can not express how lost we would've been without Cheng communicating, translating, buying, and basically doing everything for these helpless foreigners:) Ha! We checked into our hotel, and went exploring in the alleys nearby. I kept saying how grateful I was that we weren't staying in the super westernized part of Beijing. I felt like I was getting the real deal experience! I think that first night I was pretty culture shocked with all the stares, smells, food, and SO MANY PEOPLE! But, luckily that wore off pretty fast:) We went to the Forbidden City, Red Square, the Beijing Orchestra, and lots of exploring in that history rich town! We had tons of yummy and "try only once" type of foods:) Ha! Then it was on to Weifang to meet Cheng's parents, and have that wedding! We met lots of people, were fed until we were going to burst, had a wonderful bike ride, and this is where I really learned to love the Chinese people and culture! Next was Qingdao where I stayed at Mason and Cheng's apartment, met their German friend Marcel, stayed up late telling stories, went to the beach, saw the university Mason teaches at, had a drunk Russian yelling outside my window all night, went on a beautiful hike, and where we had to say goodbye to Mason and Cheng only for a few weeks until they would come to the US for their wedding celebration here. We had to go through customs 3 times, resulting in some missed flights, so by the end of the trip it was good to be back:) I'll let the pictures tell the rest of our trip:

--DISCLAIMER--

The trip was clear back in June, and I was having a "I really am not getting along with this computer" type of night. So my order of things won't be really accurate, and I promise I have more pictures, I took videos, and that I wrote every detail of everything in my journal:) Maybe I'll update this post when I get back from Russia...
---UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE---
My phone like died when I got back from Russia, so not only are my China pictures gone, my Russia pictures are too...luckily I at least got these pictures (stay positive Annie) :)

Our hotel in Beijing.

We went to the Beijing orchestra. I was surprised at how different the instruments were than the ones in American orchestras.

At the opera house.

One of our exotic walks:)

Before we took the "chairlift" up to the starting point of The Great Wall.

IT WAS SO HOT! Luckily we had our Chinese fans to help cool off! Plus these watch towers were neat and refreshing.

BEAUTIFUL scenery. Not sure why I thought it was smart to hike straight up in a dress:) Plus we rode a slide down which was SO FUN but a little tricky in this attire:)

An example of the funny English translations we saw all over the place.

SCARIEST bike ride of my life! No one follows any traffic laws, and we had to cross 10 lanes of traffic.

Beautiful Wetlands that our 4 hour bike ride took us to!

Beautiful hike next Mason and Cheng's apartment in Quingdao. We explored a cemetery that was really unique and quite different from cemeterys in the US, but we felt disrespectful taking pictures.

Natural wells. People were just filling buckets since no one can drink the water in China, unless it's filtered.

TONS of people across this really long railing playing intense games.

So many people carry their life on these little bike/cart things.

This cute older couple was trying to take a selfie:)

We went to this really neat local park and there were all these couples dancing!

One of the alleys by our hotel in Beijing...early in the morning, so very few people. The night before it was chaos with cars and bikes and people going every which way in that tiny area!!!

More alley:)

This person made a raft out of some type of weed. It is common to see people using whatever they can find to make common things.

Cutest little couple! They made the sweetest speeches...Mason in Mandarin and Cheng in English, then the other translated! In China the brides wear a red dress, not a white one.

Love these people!

Cheng's cousin who started crying at how pretty and tall I was haha!

We decorated the venue for the wedding, and we had the fanciest meal...not sure what we ate but I know some of it was cow stomach and sea urchins.

The Chinese character for "double happiness" is used for good luck on the wedding day. This sign was everyhwere for the couple! This is Cheng's parents apartment. 

Cheng's parents Yongewei Zhang and Lixin Wang...some of the sweetest people I've ever met! We became good friends even with the language barrier.

These type of scultpures were EVRYWHERE in China.

Red Square

People really were NOT afraid to stare, take pictures of, or take selfies with the foreigner with blue eyes!!!

Forbidden City

Doors to the Forbidden City...touching these knobs gave good luck:)

Trying to casually pose by these monks:)

THIS PLACE IS HUGE!

I don't even know what this is...taking this picture I honestly felt like I was going to suffocate in all these people pushing each other in such a tight place!!!

Qingdao beach! Nice cool evening, so not too crowded.